My world filled with darkness again...
The light i see infront of me is fake...
@ 1st i thot it was a warm light...
When i tried to touch it...
it is just as cold as the world i'm in...
and it disappeared...
Yesterday nite...
i cried again...
something happened...
due to blah blah blah...
i dun want to dig out my memories..
i was alone in the room...lights off...
i duno why i feel i'm very scared that i'll be alone again...
every word he say is damn fuckin sharp...
just like those sharp fuckin knife that poke through my heart...
Damn Fuckin pain...
i cuup his phone..
i felt no freedom..
i just can't stand this pain...
so i took my penknife...
and slash it on my hand two times...
i just felt more better...
i think my hand got bleed...
but a bit only...
after that...
he call again...
i know that he care but...
he shouted at me...
no one dares to shout or scream at me
except my hell family members...
i just suddenly felt
very left-out, lonely, no one cares..
Very cold and back to my world..
and i start going crazy...
i cried non-stop...
start cutting...
till i heard my sis coughing..
den i'm back to normal...
i almost suicide by pircing the blade into my heart...
coz i reli cant stand the fuckin pain...
so i slp at 2am plus...
Fuckin afternoon...
go to far east n cine to pack stocks...
the fuckin mother keep pushing all the stress on me...
everything call me to think, call me do...
is like i'm damn fuckin tired lor..
den do wrong everything my fault...
ok fine...every thing me...
i die also must be me lor...
kao bei so much..
just know how to kao bei...
bo tai ji den cher wo tai ji..
kbkp knnb la...
ci bai..fucker..nabei le...
just know how to push blames to me...
everything they correct de...
i'm the only wrong...
dun even think of others feelings..
so damn fuckin selfish la..
they win le...
now i angry, sad, happy or moody..
i all cannot feel lor...
and the word 'love' doesn't exist in my world..
there's only hatred here...
'love' should be happy, warmness and feel secure..
but in this world i can feel neither one of them...
u can only feel sad, coldness, darkness, insecure...
i duno what is love too...
just a loveless world...
maybe this world won't be brighten again..
it will remain in the darkness forever...
forever, till both me n her died...
